My Boyfriend Has Bacne and It’s Ruining Our Relationship

So, I fell in love not too long ago. It’s the best, isn’t it? Over time, you naturally start to care for this person and their well-being, right? You (hopefully) respect them and want nothing but the best for them. That warm, fuzzy feeling takes over your body when you see them smile, laugh, experience a triumph, or overcome an obstacle. On the flip side, when they’re sad or upset, confused, or feeling insecure, all you want to do is cheer them up, relieve their angst, and switch their glass-half-empty mindset to one of glass-overflowing. 

Well, for the most part, my boyfriend and I do all of the above for each other. But there is this one outlying situation that seems to be a conundrum. I can’t figure out how to lift his spirits on this one. My boyfriend has back acne, also known as bacne. It doesn’t bother me, and I never knew it bothered him until recently. Not only is his bacne physically uncomfortable, but it came with an insecurity that bleeds into other areas of his life. And it isn’t just wearing on him. It’s wearing on me– big time. When we feel insecure (really insecure) about something, it affects everything, doesn’t it?  His bacne takes a major toll on our relationship and I am starting to lose hope.

Mental Effects of Bacne

That was me then. This is me now. Wow, what a journey! Yes, there is a solution, but first let me tell you the rest of the story. So, I didn’t realize my boyfriend’s bacne was the bane of his existence. He constantly thought about it. He felt disgusting, unattractive, and less than. This insecurity consumed him, and he was becoming depressed. His depression and anxiety seemed worse in the summertime. Visits to my parents’ house were, and are still, one of the many things I love about summer. I look forward to the longer days by my parents’ pool. We grill food, hang out, garden, and you guessed it- we swim.  

I quickly learned why my boyfriend didn’t fully enjoy those visits. I watched my excitement for summer turn into nervousness and sympathy. My boyfriend was self-conscious. There was a loop in his head that said, “everyone is staring at your back.” These stories were real to him. His self-esteem fell, and then arrived the depression and disconnection. And speaking of skin, this all started to get under mine. It also hurt my heart. I wanted it to go away for him.

The Solution to Our Problem 

It was hard to watch my boyfriend’s confidence plummet. It concerned me because I knew when our self-esteem is down for too long, depression can rear its head. In this case, yes I cared about his mental state but also, compassion was heavy in me. Who wouldn’t feel that way if they had bacne? “The solution had to be out there!” I thought. Frustration-inspired, I took action and started searching for answers. Then there it was. The product looked pretty awesome. I, of course, didn’t realize at the time how awesomely this product would affect our lives. I didn’t realize it would soon prove to be the confidence booster we needed to save our relationship.

But First, What is Bacne? 

Acne is a chronic inflammatory skin disease. It is the most common skin condition among people in the United States. On an annual basis, fifty million Americans are affected by acne. Dirt, dead skin cells, sweat, and sebum are some of the main culprits. Sebum is a sebaceous gland oil that keeps our skin and hair from getting too dry. If too much is made, pimples are born. When unwanted substances clog our pores, the results can present as whiteheads, blackheads, cysts, red bumps, and even nodules. Nodules are painful lumps deep in your skin and attempting to pop these can lead to scars. When acne presents itself on your back, it is called back acne or “bacne.”

Many things can cause bacne including:

• poor diet
• hormonal imbalances
• stress
• family history
• poor hygiene (shower, people!)
• allergy to skincare products 
• reaction to a medication you’re taking

So, What Finally Made His Bacne Go Away?

Before I found my boyfriend’s now favorite product, he stayed clean. He showered after exercising and used recommended acne soaps. Then I’d apply his acne cream. We saw some improvement but it wasn’t enough. So, I went back to the drawing board. I stumbled upon something that caught my immediate attention– bacne spray. I thought, “Wow! This is way easier than applying cream. Heaven forbid I’m not home and he can’t reach all of his pimples because as we know, they’re on his back! This is a spray!”  So easy, so convenient. 

So, I bought the spray. At this point, he was sick of trying different ways to cure his bacne, but since this is such an easy application process, he thought, “Why not?” After every shower, he sprayed. How refreshing! It is simple and quick and it soothes the skin. He still sprays (once he’s clean, of course!) his acne solution on his back twice a day; and just when we think his back looks pretty healed, it is even clearer the next time we look!

What’s in Bacne Spray?

Salicylic Acid for one thing! What’s that do? Well, it reduces swelling and redness. It unclogs blocked pores, which is satisfying, and I didn’t realize a pimple can’t shrink if the pore is clogged! So what else is found in bacne spray? Here are a few other ingredients and how they conquer bacne:

• Benzoyl peroxide. Kills bacteria on your skin’s surface.
• Resorcinol. Disinfects your skin surface and removes hard/rough skin.‍
• Sulfur. An antimicrobial agent that gently exfoliates and removes excess oil.

And if you love the botanical world like me, here is a peek at some natural ingredients you’ll find in my favorite bacne spray brands:

• rosemary extract
• licorice root
• witch hazel
• blue tansy
• tea tree
• barberry

Do’s and Don’ts of Bacne

My boyfriend used to pop, squeeze, and scrub the life out of his pus-filled pimples and cysts. Sure, he popped them for instant gratification, I get it, but wasn’t he running the risk of creating another scar when he did that? Not to mention, there are bacteria in pus, so this is not a clean tactic!  

Here is a list of do’s and don’t my boyfriend applies to his life:

DON’TS

•  Don’t scrub your pimples. 
•  Don’t pop or squeeze your pimples.
•  Don’t ask anyone else to either.
•  Don’t stay dirty/sweaty too long.
•  Don’t use dirty towels.

DO’s       

• Shower after exercising, every time!
• Use bacne spray twice a day after a shower.
• Wash your bed sheets at least once a week.
• Wear loose-fitting, cotton shirts.
• Use non-comedogenic (non-pore-blocking ingredients) skin products.
• Wear clean clothes (I hope you’re wearing clean clothes, regardless!).
• Manage your stress levels.

The Best Bacne Sprays of 2024

After much research, I found several bacne sprays that worked wonders for my boyfriend. Here are some responsibly sourced, all-natural bacne sprays I recommend:

Nècessaire The Body Acne Solution

A gentle spray, yes, but it packs a punch. It tackles bacne while also feeding your skin with a range of vitamins. It’s refreshing, it’s nourishing, and it’s no-nonsense in its results. No Silicones. No Phthalates. No Parabens. No PEGs. Packaged in a 100% Post Consumer Recycled Aluminum bottle.

Megababe Chest-o Presto Acne Spray

This vegan formula is all about natural ingredients and has never been tested on animals. No harsh chemicals, just a direct approach to clearing up body acne. It calms the skin, with no irritation, just clarity. Simple. Effective. This formula is free of sulfates, aluminum, parabens, phthalates, and more.

Paula’s Choice Skincare Acne Spray

If you’ve ever been in the skincare scene, you’ve probably heard of Paula’s Choice. Backed by dermatologists, this spray goes straight for the problem. And Paula’s Choice is committed to lessening its environmental impact and has implemented “data-backed methodologies to reduce our footprint.”

Why Use Spray Over Creams and Gels?

Simple! It is so much easier and quicker than applying creams and gels. And it’s more efficient because you don’t miss any areas of your back. You’re already exhausted mentally and emotionally by this ailment that won’t go away. The last thing you want is to ask someone to rub acne cream on your back. The spray is lightweight, spreads evenly, absorbs immediately, and feels revitalizing!

How Fast Does Bacne Spray Work?

This easy-to-use method of treating bacne shows results at different speeds depending on the person. I know, I’d want a guaranteed time frame too. What I can tell you is this: my boyfriend’s experience is nothing short of miraculous. After a few weeks of consistently using his bacne spray, we started to see improvement. Around the month mark, his bacne was barely there, and his depression… well, that wasn’t around either.

So To Wrap Up…

Sometimes things that bother me don’t bother him. And things that bring me down don’t affect him at all. I know if I had bacne that wouldn’t go away and nothing I used was helping, my confidence would be down too. Sometimes quick fixes don’t work. And sometimes, like in the case of bacne spray, they do! With a little love and effort, I found the solution. But it was ultimately my boyfriend’s willingness to keep trying, regardless of his doubts and fears, that got our relationship back on track. He feels good about himself again, and his elevated level of self-esteem continues to have a ripple effect.